38-1/2 Weeks and Still Nothing

Dr. Eyvazzadeh: "Where's the baby?"

Me: (thinking he means Nathan who he enjoys seeing each week) "At home with Grandma."

Dr. E: "No, I mean where's this baby?"

Me: (sighing) "I wish I knew!"

Yes, that's right...still no baby...and not many signs that she's planning to make her appearance any time very soon. I had a lot of cramping this week and a few contractions off and on, but when Dr. E checked me, he said, "No change." Disappointing...

I've been walking as much as I can and we even gave in and ate another pizza with special labor-inducing powers...and all I have to show for that is gas pain, yippee!

I know she'll come when she's ready and I really don't want her before that (unless there's some medical reason she needs to be out sooner) since God knows best. Just trying to be patient...but waiting and all this anticipation is getting to me!

Estimating the Baby Girl

This morning we had our long-awaited 38-week ultrasound to estimate Miss Ko's weight and see her position. She's head-down already and Dr. Eyvazzadeh said she has a "big head." Based on the head circumference, size of the abdomen, and length of her femur, he estimated her current size at 7lbs. 14 oz. Of course that's just an estimation...it's hard to know for sure when the baby is still inside. But we're happy that everything seems good with her and that before long she'll be joining us! I'm not at all dilated but have been having some contractions off and on for the past day or so. The doctor said walking can help things, so I'm planning some serious walking in the next week! More info to come...

Baby Spice

Nathan was up extra early this morning after having NO nap yesterday. I got up with him at about 6:15 and was waking up myself while he was tootling around, as he usually does in the mornings. He was in the kitchen drawers as usual, but today he decided to find out what was in the top drawer where I keep all the spice jars. Next thing I saw, he was carrying around a packet of gumbo spices that I'd bought awhile ago but never got around to using. A few minutes later it suddenly got very quiet in the kitchen and when I walked over to see what was going on, there he was... sitting on the floor, packet pulled open, gumbo spices all over the floor and Nathan, and Nathan happily eating the spices...mostly smiling but every once in awhile making a face that said, "Whoa, was it THAT taste?!" Unfortunately, the camera was in the other room and I never would've made it back without Nathan following me...it was priceless though!

36.5 Weeks and Counting

Went to see the OB this morning. All is well with the Little Miss--her heart sounds strong and she's head down, ready for action. We'll have our last ultrasound next Friday to estimate her size and make sure we're all set. I haven't gained anything for the past 3 visits, but Dr. Eyvazzadeh said not to worry, especially given my terrible heartburn. He said as long as I'm not losing, he's not worried. I so appreciate his easy-going attitude. He did say I can try Zantac for the heartburn, so I'll pick some up today. Mylanta, my usual standby, hasn't been helping much lately, so bringing in the big guns should help. Made the rest of my OB appointments, too, and I laughed when the receptionist stopped at the August 7th appointment and said, "We'll just wait and see beyond that..." I told her I hoped I could even cancel that one! It all feels very surreal right now--I know there's a baby on the way but it just doesn't seem possible. Just a few more weeks...

Because One-Handed Isn't Enough...

Can you tell we're starving this boy? Clearly he's malnourished...that must be the reason he's eating graham crackers from BOTH fists, right??

Yes, this is our son, the boy who SHOVES food into his mouth as if someone were lurking nearby, ready to take whatever morsels he may not inhale quickly enough. It's almost like the people I know who've grown up in large families, with lots of siblings. They always tell me that you learn to eat quickly because if you don't, the food will be gone. I assure you, this isn't the case at our house, but somehow the little man takes his eating very, very seriously...

Ride 'em Horsey

Nathan got this "horse" (yes, I know it's a zebra...) for his birthday from Aunt Marie and Uncle Philip. He's thoroughly enjoyed playing with it while standing up, spinning the little thing that makes music play. If you sat him on the "horse", he enjoyed sitting there but would quickly get down. Sometime this week he figured out how to get on the "horse" on his own and now happily bounces along for several minutes at a time.

Unfortunately, once I brought out the camera, the super-cute faces/poses promptly stopped, and it was all I could do to snap a few pics before he bee-lined for the camera. Little turkey...

Boxing Nathan

Nathan's understanding of language seems to be increasing by leaps and bounds each day. His use of "language" is improving, too, although his vocabulary still consists mainly of dada, mama, nana, tata, etc. He uses all kinds of inflection with those "words" so we know he's on his way to talking soon.

Today I was trying to pack a box of unused things around the house just to make space for more baby stuff and Nathan was "helping" as usual. He carried the box out of his room as I was getting the pile of things together. He walked back in a few minutes later when I was ready to start packing. I said, "Nathan, bring Mommy the box" thinking that was wishful thinking. He tootled out of his room and I heard John say, "Oh my gosh..." and then I looked over to see Nathan carrying the box into his room...a funny sight given that the box was as big as him almost!

I've heard people say that the time between 12 and 18 months is so incredible for language development and we're learning that it's all true. We're so excited to hear his first real words...to finally get a window into his little mind.

About 4 weeks till we are 4...

The Little Miss is due to arrive in about 4 more weeks, and none of us can believe how quickly the time has gone. We've had a great summer just the 3 of us, getting into a good routine and just enjoying the last few months of our little family before the newest member joins us. John and I talk often about what the changes will be like...will she be an easy baby? will she sleep well? will she be able to nurse easily? how will Nathan react? how will we deal with sleep deprivation while caring for an active toddler? ...of course there is no way to know, but we have fun guessing. We figure that if nothing else, we have some experience now which will go a long way in helping us navigate whatever lies ahead.

Nathan is at such a great age right now, and we are just eating him up each day. He's walking all the time now and is so proud of himself as he conquers new feats. He loves to go to the park and explore the playground or just walk in the grass and find leaves, sticks, or whatever other treasure may be laying there. He "helps" around the house, too, with the dishwasher, vacuuming, and trying to put pots and pans from the cupboard up on the stove. He is so social and such a flirt--walking up to strangers and patting or hugging them! John and I marvel at this, as both of us are fairly reserved...we wonder how Nathan got such a personality!?! And hopefully I won't jinx anything by writing this, but he's been sleeping great at night now for about the last 6 weeks. This makes up for his mediocre napping during the day...but even naps are improving now that he's so much more active. It's been a great few months.

John and I have become such a great team this year. He's such a wonderful Daddy and Nathan adores him (as do I!). We've figured out systems to make communicating easier and have found ways to give each other regular baby breaks during the week which have been great for us both to recharge. It's also allowed Nathan to be comfortable with either of us caring for him which will be a definite plus once the Little Girl arrives. We know that the addition of another baby will be a transition for us, but I feel so confident that we'll just take our current systems and tweak them to fit the new situation. Before long things will be humming along nicely again. I'm so lucky to have my husband also be my very best friend.

This year has been one of lots of lessons for me. I think back to the times of my major frustrations during the past year...when I thought I was doing things wrong by not having Nathan on a "strict schedule", or when I worried if he was eating too much (a teacher sees too many obese kids at school and I still fight against this fear...), when I thought we were hurting him by letting him cry it out at night, or when I thought I was the only one with a kid who didn't nap (or whatever else the "crisis" was)...and now I can laugh at myself, at least a little. I hope that I've learned to have fewer expectations for the Baby Girl (though no expectations would be best...) so that I can just enjoy the journey and know that all the details will iron themselves out in time. I admit to still having bouts of anxiousness over wondering how on earth I'll be able to care for both a newborn and an active 15-month-old at the same time (not to mention myself!), but then I tell myself that people have done it before and survived, that I have a wonderfully supportive and helpful husband who will do all that he can to make things easier, and that everything will seem "easy" again in time. I think it's just that change terrifies me, especially when it's a BIG change like this! I always chuckle to myself when I have these realizations because I know God is looking down at me (as He always is) and wants me to know how much easier things would be if I'd just let Him handle all the details, instead of trying to figure them out by myself. I hope I'm getting better at that, but I know it's something that will take awhile...luckily, I have my whole life to learn and even more luckily, God is very patient.

I am fighting hard against all the mommy guilt that has me wondering how Nathan will cope with having to share his parents, how he's not getting as much "fun" time right now since I'm as big as a house and lacking energy/stamina, how will the baby fair when she won't get as much undivided attention as Nathan got as a baby, etc., etc., etc. There are other moms in my mothers' group who are expecting #2 and going through the same thing, so it's been good to commiserate. I just keep reminding myself, once again, that millions of kids have had siblings and both kids have adjusted just fine. All the looks of pity or disbelief and comments I've been getting at playgroups or at parks from other moms (strangers, no less!) about how close together the kids will have been extremely hard for me to deal with. I know it doesn't matter what other people think, especially people I don't even know, but at a time when I'm feeling extra vulnerable and sensitive, it's been hard to stomach at times. I try to concentrate on the people who say the wonderfully encouraging and positive things...things like, "they'll be so close, just like best friends" or "you'll be all done with diapers and the craziness at about the same time" or "how wonderful to have a boy and a girl...a perfect family" or "we wanted to have ours that close together--you're so lucky!" These are the people who have made me feel that things will be wonderful...and I love that many of these comments have also come from perfect strangers, another way God has encouraged me in the last few weeks.

I've been busily nesting, getting as much ready for the Baby as possible. I'd said it didn't matter how much was prepared in advance, but alas, it does. We could certainly survive as long as she has a place to sleep and a few clothes and diapers, but the act of washing and folding her clothes, and organizing her dresser and closet somehow makes her upcoming birth seem more real. Not that I could forget given how huge I am and how much she's constantly on the move! But having time to get the sea of pink things ready for her has been a fun time. We are so very excited to meet her!

New and "Improved"

Welcome to our new blog! Why a new blog when Nathan already has his own, you ask? Well, in case you hadn't heard (and most of you have...), we're expecting Nathan's sister sometime in early August. So knowing that a busy mom of 2 under 2 won't be having enough time to blog separately for each kid, Nathan's blog has morphed into the Ko Family Blog. My goal is to update weekly on our doings, so please check back regularly to see what's going on in our little family.